The Acceptance Struggle

The quest for acceptance, a journey that all mortals embark upon. From a young age, we desire to be embraced by the in-crowd, to be welcomed into the fold of our peers. Yet, as the seasons of our lives shift, acceptance takes on a new light. We seek validation in our workplaces, within our families, and among our adult companions. For some, the path to acceptance is fraught with challenges, where we feel like outsiders looking in, always on the fringes of the crowd.


This was the tale that wove through my own life. The yearning for acceptance was a fire that burned within me, a desire to be seen and valued. I longed for my family to recognize my worth, and at work, I sought to prove my dedication. I pushed myself to the brink, losing sight of my own identity. Even in my youth, I was teased for being different. My own family had a habit of overlooking me, and among friends, I felt left out and dismissed. I even found myself tolerating mistreatment, accepting the crumbs of affection just to be picked by someone.


But as I have aged, I have learned a new truth. The only acceptance that truly matters is my own. I have learned to embrace myself, to give myself grace and love. I am learning to find peace in being an outsider, to cherish the uniqueness that sets me apart. I may still be searching for my tribe, but I am content in knowing that I have found acceptance within myself.


As I approach my 39th year, I am determined not to carry this obsession into my 40th. I am taking steps to release the hold that the desire for acceptance has had on my life. Here are some of the ways that I am doing so, and perhaps they might offer inspiration to others on a similar journey:


· Recognize that non-acceptance is not a reflection of your worth but rather a projection of someone else's insecurities.

· Distance yourself when you see red flags.
· Allow things to flow naturally, without trying too hard.
· Embrace doing things alone, without waiting for others.
· Learn to say "no" without explanation.
· Spend more time with those who accept you for who you are.
· Stay away from draining and toxic individuals.
· Don't always be available.
· Walk away when it no longer feels right.
· Stop shrinking yourself to fit in.
· Seek the guidance of a therapist.
· Trust your intuition.
· Do more things that make you happy, not just what pleases others. 


The light of acceptance shines within us all, regardless of who sees it. May we all find the courage to embrace ourselves and shine brightly in our own unique way.


By yours truly,
Samantha J Bell 
The Pink Street Diva

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